Infinite Baby Crisis
by Amore di Libri
Summary: So, the Justice League has bested the worst and most evil villains to date. But can they figure out what to do with the babies suddenly cropping up in their homes? Luthor and Cadmus have nothing on . . . the INFINITE BABY CRISIS! JLU spoilers ahead.
1. Chapter 1

Wally was having the best night of his life.

His original plans for the night had involved Monitor duty, an uber-secret stash of Family Guy episodes, and whatever chips and cookies J'onn had stashed in the kitchen. His original plans had sucked. But being a superhero had its perks, as evidenced by Exhibit A: "Wally's Best Night EVER." Here he was, in the most expensive restaurant in Central City, with a very hot babe, being treated to a very delicious, very free meal. Through the large panoramic windows he could see the twinkling lights of his city. A city that was safe from fear because he was here to save the day. Well, that's what Candi had said when he saved her from those really creepy bug dudes. They'd apparently dug up from near the center of the Earth just so they could steal some human women, which Wally sort of understood because he was pretty sure anyone human would be a lot sexier than some bug person with six tentacles and no mouth. But that still didn't give them the right to take his women, humankind's women, to do weird stuff with, which he didn't want to think about, 'cause it was weird enough thinking about bug people doing it with each other, it was even more mind shattering to think about cross species mating. Ugh.

Anyways, he'd saved Candi and several of her friends from the ugly pod people and that had led to a private dinner, on the house, with a former Miss Texas. He was hoping that it would lead to more shows of gratitude and Candi looked like she hoped so, too.

Best. Night. EVER.

* * *

Worst. Night. EVER.

He had no idea how to handle this. Gorilla Grodd was just a talking ape. Lex Luthor was just a bald guy with a really big and evil mid-life crisis. Batman was just a . . . okay, Batman was downright scary. But this, this was insane. When Candi had seen it in the apartment, she had immediately shrieked and run like hell, yelling that he was a sick monster, and she should have known better than to go out with someone who wore red spandex. That had just about blown any chances he had of christening his new silk sheets. Instead, he was stuck here, trying to make sense of this ticking bomb. There hadn't been any screams yet, but he knew it was just a matter of time. Wally looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms, and tried to figure out who to call first.

The baby woke up and started crying.

Worst night ever. And he had a feeling it was going to get worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Shayera walked back to her apartment with her take-out pho noodles and the Gladiator movie. It used to be their favorite movie to watch together. She got a kick out of emulating some of the battle cries during practice sessions at the Watchtower, and John would always point out historical inaccuracies. The perils of having a history buff as her boyfriend. Who wasn't her boyfriend anymore.

As she climbed up the six flights of stairs to her floor, she wondered if he watched Gladiator with Vixen now. Or if they had their own special movie. Not that it mattered to her anymore. After that talk she had with John's current girlfriend, she had done her best to put him out of her mind and concentrate on work. It was getting easier to see him at work every week, and she didn't intentionally avoid him anymore. She was getting along better with most of the founding members of the League, and the trust was slowly rebuilding. All in all, things were looking up.

Tonight would be a chance to relax and not think too hard.

Once she got in the door, she placed her food on the kitchen counter and flipped the switch. The instant the light came on, a thin wail came from the direction of the living room sofa. Immediately on alert, Shayera flattened herself against the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, holding a butcher's knife at the ready. She ducked through the doorway to quickly land behind the sofa. The wailing on the other side of the couch had petered out to what sounded like hiccups. Cautiously, she rose to her knees to take a quick peek at the object of the hiccup-y sounds . . . and dropped abruptly back down to the floor in shock when a pair of very cute, shining green eyes stared back.

It was a baby.

There was a baby in her living room. Maybe it was a booby trapped baby. Or a robot. Or some other type of trap. Maybe Wally was playing another trick on her. Just last week, he'd filled her apartment with balloons of all sorts. She hadn't been able to move without bumping into the damn things. But, a baby. That was a bit more than she thought even Wally was capable of.

So, definitely not Wally. That still left the question of the random baby in her apartment. Or maybe she had been mistaken. Maybe it was a pile of clothing she left out by mistake or a blanket.

A quick glance over the back of the sofa shattered that theory.

Nope. Definitely wriggling its chubby limbs, and now it was cooing. Shayera stood up and looked helplessly at the baby . Even if it was a death trap, which she sincerely doubted since it was naked (and a boy) and just lying there ogling her, she couldn't leave it on her sofa all night. She needed a plan. Preferably one that allowed her to hit whoever left a defenseless baby in her apartment without any explanation or identification or clothing. But she'd settle for one that would get the suddenly escalating crying to stop. Who did she know with baby experience?

Oh. She sighed as she picked up the cordless, keeping an eye on the now screaming baby. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
